Black Springs: Ride Smoother, Look Meaner. Upgrade Now!
Alright, here's a shot: "This ain't your grandma's thingamajigger. We're talking pure, unadulterated awesome packed into a… well, you gotta see it to believe it. It's like a unicorn threw up rainbows, and then a bald eagle swooped in and gave it a high-five. Seriously, it'll make your life better. Guaranteed. Okay, maybe not guaranteed, but it's pretty darn close. Buy it, you won't regret it. Unless you hate happiness. And if you hate happiness, we probably can't help you."
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